A few years ago, every time I would walk into a convenient store and be rung out or be served at a restaurant I’d notice that the people working that job were much older and I’d ask myself “Why are these 40 year old men and women working a job that has zero fulfillment?’ Up until I was about 20, I was under that impression that your dreams are everything you needed and as long as you desired something more than anything else, It would just turn out okay. I was naive enough to believe that at 16 and it was a beautiful thing. Continue reading “Convenience Store.”
All the adults around me
Constantly existing in my life
They talk and have grand conversations
Using sophisticated words and phrases
Each sentence as predictable and judgmental
As the next
Just like their lives
Perfectly planned and executed
Like all the rest
I call It.
The talking suits and ties
Pledge to live by it
Step 1. Cry, cry and cry some more
Step 2. There are no steps
Feel the seemingly impossible moment and pause the world around you. Room upside down. Your head pounding. Your life in the worst crash of its entirety. Or so it seems. And attempt to swallow that huge lump in your throat and let it drop down to your heart. Look around everywhere you go and enjoy being reminded of them at every sight you see.
Look in the mirror. Hate everything that’s looking back. Clench your fist and shatter your now depressing. Self loathing world. The shards fray off into your now thin skin. The sudden rushes of pain don’t phase you. You felt a different level of pain, the day they walked away.
Take a flame and place it onto those Polaroids hung so cliché on those string lights. Instantly regret it the second you can’t go back.
I’ve been doing well
I lost my job the other day
I can’t afford the drugs to take
All this pain away
My friends are growing up without me
I’m 3000 miles from home
To the girl who once bought my heart
It was sold so easily back then
Cheap Perfume and a bright smile
That’s all it took
Oh, and the way that blue sundress
Always made you look.