A few years ago, every time I would walk into a convenient store and be rung out or be served at a restaurant I’d notice that the people working that job were much older and I’d ask myself “Why are these 40 year old men and women working a job that has zero fulfillment?’ Up until I was about 20, I was under that impression that your dreams are everything you needed and as long as you desired something more than anything else, It would just turn out okay. I was naive enough to believe that at 16 and it was a beautiful thing. Continue reading “Convenience Store.”
Step 1. Cry, cry and cry some more
Step 2. There are no steps
Feel the seemingly impossible moment and pause the world around you. Room upside down. Your head pounding. Your life in the worst crash of its entirety. Or so it seems. And attempt to swallow that huge lump in your throat and let it drop down to your heart. Look around everywhere you go and enjoy being reminded of them at every sight you see.
Look in the mirror. Hate everything that’s looking back. Clench your fist and shatter your now depressing. Self loathing world. The shards fray off into your now thin skin. The sudden rushes of pain don’t phase you. You felt a different level of pain, the day they walked away.
Take a flame and place it onto those Polaroids hung so cliché on those string lights. Instantly regret it the second you can’t go back.
People tend to not believe movies, not just the story lines but all of it. The events that transpire and emotions the actors portray just are written off as ” Oh that’s a movie, that won’t happen in real life.” As If It’s impossible or unattainable. I’m not one of those people. I’m a firm believer that all those punch drunk emotions you see and feel on the big screen are what life should be.. and what could be.
Tomorrow is June 24th, 2017 and you’ll be turning 22 years old and this is a letter I never thought I’d write. You’re somebody I used to be proud of in every aspect and I have to tell you, you’re not who you’re supposed to be and you’re not where you should be. You had a really bright future.. well honestly, everything about you was bright. Your days weren’t always so dark. Your personality was infectious and you spoke with conviction. Your words weren’t flimsy and didn’t sway with the winds of life.
This is sadly what I have. Pretty much the last shred of my own personal touch in this world. This blog is what keeps me sane, whether or not anybody actually reads this. It’s how I keep my broken mind together. Its essentially just scotch tape on shattered remains but sometimes It’s enough.