She asked me what was wrong
I replied and said “nothing”
It was a soft response with zero confidence
Luckily, she didn’t notice
The last thing i wanted to talk about
Was the sadness camping out in my head
For the sole reason of not wanting to cry
Over a plate of bacon cheese fries
We were sharing at the time
A time when, we weren’t out of place
When we laughed like we used to
Before this fucked up expiration date
Around the same time when
Your smile and my dreams were living in the same place
Playing neighbors with
Those ocean eyes and styled blonde hair
Relaxing at home on your taller than average frame
The constantly debated
Maybe taller than me frame
You’d always get excited and laugh
when you’d put on your shoes
To see that you were
For a couple seconds, actually taller than me
Speaking of smiles, You’d make a kickass dental hygienist
So please go finish school. Keep on that plan of yours.
You deserve that.
Something actually stable.
A love that is worthwhile and able
Tomorrow is going to suck.
I drive her to the airport
A Sunday morning
Meaning the freeways are empty of cars
Usually, that’s all you ever ask for
You know? Because fuck traffic.
But, god damn it
For the first time ever,
I wish I was stuck in 5pm rush hour traffic
Because now I’m cruising effortlessly
Straight to the inevitable
I’m reading the exit sign for the airport
I’ve seen this thing a dozen times
I know exactly what it says
What the exact exit number is
You’d sometimes sit and laugh at me
Because I’d always confuse the arrivals and departures exit lanes
This time all the sign was blurred
I didn’t hear your laugh.
I didn’t know what to feel
Like my mind censored the damage to PG 13
So my heart didn’t have to watch all the bad parts
It was the first moment I was truly second guessing my decisions and asking myself why
Why are things the way that they are?
Why do we hurt so much when we’re trying our hearts out?
I know I just have keep smiling
And enjoy our plate of cheesy goodness
Because come morning
You’ll be gone and I won’t have the opportunity to sit and admire your eyes anymore.